I am blogging again, just not here, but here. Hubby is getting out of the Army and I am on a different thought path. So I decided to start blogging again. I have had weight loss surgery, and we are now off post. Hubby is looking for jobs and the most promising looks to take him away every so often. Not sure how to feel about that one but it is better than what is here in town.

I am also working part time from home, and am not enjoying it. I am also in the ob field once again. I now know I need part time that allows me to be available to my Kiddos and Hubby.

So now you have the jist of my life, come join me in my new place. Hope to see you soon.

Oi! Is about all I can say without laughing, cause if I cry, I may never stop. I am awaiting results to see if I have sleep apnea and if I need a CPAP. If I need a CPAP then I have to be in compliance for 30 days before they will send my packet up for surgery. Only roadblock I have run into.

I am on the hunt for a JOB. Yes I am jumping back into the workforce after to many years to count. I have two good leads and things I never thought I would qualify for. I am praying that God gives me MY job and it works for my family.

Now I am off to do some studying and a little Bones.

So, tomorrow I have another doctor's appointment. I have done a breathing test and am awaiting the results of that and to see if I need a sleep study. Sometimes I think all the testing that is being done is because I have insurance and I may not have it soon so lets find everything wrong with me now.

We have heard that the NARSUM (go here and you can find out what that is and the whole MEB process is) is back but have no appointment to look into it as of yet. I just need to know what the VA says so I can start planning for my future and move on from this army life. I will miss it but it is time to start a new chapter.

Kiddos are doing awesome. Ready for the pool to open and be fish again. I miss my girls and hope we can get get together soon.

Life has been crazy the last few months. The van was in the shop, spent a weekend with some wonderful ladies and had a couple of birthdays thrown in and add the holidays to that mix and I was nuts. A little more than usual. I need to write again so here I am. Writing and spilling my guts out there for the world to read. A few rules will go with my renewed sense of writing; 1. No hating, on anything; i.e. grammar, spelling how I how things. I write what is MY life right now so I can see it for what I see it. 2. Do NOT discount me or my thoughts because I do NOT put it all out there for the world to see. 3. Love life. It is that simple.

So, back to my wonderful, crazy life. It has been some of the most wonderful and horrible times rolled up into one. Losing Mom has been the worst thing ever, but in some ways one of the greatest moments of my life. I love her with all of my heart and learned so much from her. I know in the future I will be able to understand some of the things she was trying to teach me till the end. SO I will always have her and that is why I can say that losing my Mom is one of the greatest things. Plus she made heaven her home and I will get to see her again one day.

Sweetness is growing into such a wonderful young lady. She had her first JROTC Military Ball this past weekend, is amazing at all she does and has a heart of pure goodness and joy. The boys are the boys. Big Man is still searching for a job but helping my Dad out greatly. We are talking more and wounds are healing. The younger three, well, let's just say that they are like their father. Finding the good in all and everyone. They bless me with smiles and laughter when I do not feel it and remind life is not a hard, complicated thing to live, we make it that way.

Now to the real reason I am blogging again. I have started on a journey to lose weight. And I want to write it down and share it with the world. I have been trying to lose weight for years. And it worked against me to exercise like I wanted and needed to. The times I spent in wheelchairs and on canes was depressing. I need to lose weight to decrease the risk of certain diseases and to be around for my kiddos and future grand-kids. My blood pressure has been on the rise, I am vitiam deficient and  just do not like the way I look. So, I went to my PCM (primary care doctor) and asked for a referral for bariatic surgery. Yep, surgery is going to be a main tool for me to lose weight.

I have done diet programs, exercises and followed doctor's orders to the t. Even tried a few over the counter herbal things, all for nothing but a few pounds in four or five months. And I mean like 3 or 4 pounds in four or five months. It is very heartbreaking to feel better and know you are doing good but the weight stays on. And if you do the work outs you love you have a good chance of not walking or being able to care for your family.

And let me say the process has been easy. Tricare has pulled through for me each and every time without question. The doctors I chose my my surgery are awesome and very supportive. I have to see a cardiologist for a heart mummer that is non existent now, and have a sleep test before they can clear me for surgery. I do those things this month. I started after my girls weekend in Florida, back in January.

The diet changes have started, the many pills a day to rectify the vitiam deficiency are started and the high blood pressure meds are started. All with joy and not forgetting to take them because I need to change my body so I can go out and do the things I need to and not worry about my health.

The life change is going to be large and has begun. I am cutting out some of my favorite foods, and have done away with almost all the sweet drinks from my diet, even diet ones. And do not miss them. I have done this before and just like before with the added exercise I am still not losing but I am feeling better. Now it is time to get my outside appearance to look like my inside appearance.

I have been a military spouse for over 18 years and a military brat for longer than that, barely. As I look at the current pace of op tempo, troop draw down, and the slow down in recruitment I wonder if we are closer to being the military pre 9-11. Could it be possible Hubby will be home to see more than half a school year, have no worries of missing a high school graduation and for us to actually live in the same country for more than 6 to 8 months a year? It is a good feeling but also a tad bit disturbing.

I have always loved the military life, no lie, I did and do. As a family we are looking at the possibility of not being a military family. And it is not due to anything my husband or I have done. We are not ready for retirement and had planned on spending a few more years being an Army family. Now it is clear we may not be one, I will be able to say we are a family, just minus the military.

This is a life we have chosen together because of our hearts and desire to serve our country and the people of our country. This is a calling that is no different than being a doctor, lawyer or teacher. It is a call to serve. Nothing more and nothing less. And to have the possibility of that being taken away is not only unreal but daunting. Questions begin to arise.

Questions like: Where will we go? What will we do? Do we buy a house here or wait? Will family want us closer? Do we want to be closer to family?

As each day goes by I always ponder these questions. It is a fifty fifty chance we will be in the Army still or not. How can this thought not be in the forefront of our minds when I look at my kiddos and other families who are facing the same thing? All I do know is that we will soldier on as we always do and enjoy every minute together as a family.