Monday, September 01, 2008

We have made it through the first day of deployment. I took Hubby to the bag drop after all Kiddos were in bed and snoozing like the angles they are. Hubby went in and gave each Kiddo one last kiss and whispered "Daddy loves you." Then it was my turn to say see ya. I had tears steaming down my face all the way to the meet up local and so did my most amazing Hubby. He held my hand and said nothing in that five minute dive.

Once there it was like a breaker was switched. Both Hubby and I went from being the weepy messes we wee, to wo adults who can hold it together through hell and back. He had soldiers to care for and I was falling in love all over again with the man who has really tuely rerocked my world in the last year. He was the answer guy for some and the encourager for others. FOr me he was just the hottest guy around.

Once the cluster of deploying was taken care of we had some one on one time to talk. The tears made another appearence and we held each othe close and long. We had nothing else to say but love you and see ya soon. He walked away to form up again and get on the bus. I slowly walk around his truck to dive home and had to stop at least five times because my heart was being torn from my chest. The pain was so unbearable for a few minutes that all I could do was cawl into the cab of the truck and sit there. I did not look over to see what HUbby was doing, but just straight ahead. Once I saw the box truck with all the bags move I had to get outta there.

As I drove away I saw some soldiers getting on a bus and started to separte myself from the whole ordeal. I went from a sobbing chic to a signel mom who had to make it home to check on her sleeping babies. I looked in on all five of em and satisfied all was well sat down to write my Hubby the first deployment email. It was short and sweet so I would not cry and my eyes were burning anyway from earlier.

I think I crawled into bed around 0230 and slept like a baby til 0830. I don't think I even tuned over one time. All the Kiddos slept well and we had a wonderful day. Big Man was able to hit the skatepark here on post for a couple of hours and the others went swimming. I did some homework and tried to keep mself together. I called a few people to tell them I am fine and the Kiddos are awesome.

The one thing I did was ask Hubby to do was wait til he made it over the pond to call. He did not of course, he called from his first layover. It was wonderful to hear his voice, especially after I just had a meltdown (not at the Kiddos, just myself) and needed to hear his soothing teasing to get me ouuta my funk. It worked and it worked for all the Kiddos too. No one but me cied as fa as I know today and all the little ones went to bed without to much dama.

All I know is I have to make it throught the next year so I can be whole again. Many plans have been made and no calander for Hubby's homecoming is being thought o no. Just putting one foot in fromt of the other and one breath at a time. Nothing more, nothing less. Pray I keep my sanity and Hubby stays safe.

Good night.

1 comment:

liberal army wife said...

honey - you have my support. One day at a time, is the way to get through it.