I am here with no answers as of today. i do back to the doc next week and hopefully Hubby will be able to be there with me. I am holding strong, I think. I have really wonderful painfree not limping falling into walls days then BAM!!! I am hit with a week or two of really horrible can barely walk, hold my head up, smile, think straight, painful, cranky days. I need answers and they are not coming fast enough. I am praying that GOd conitues to strengthen me through His word and my wonderful Hubby who hangs tough and keeps the positive attitude. Plus he keeps me in line when I feel close to falling apart.

I am officialy enrolled in five classes this semester. Don't worry they are all online and spread out so I am not taking all five at one time. No more than three at one time. One is self paced and something I am looking forward to. So I am sure I will speed through that one ok. The one I am dreading is Eng II. I like to write but am not a big fan of writing to someone else's liking. I prefer to write from the heart and go from there.

The Kiddos all started school yesterday and loved it. Everyone one of them is close to home and we can walk on nice days and take the truck on not so nice days. It is great not having five kiddos in four places. This year it is down to three places with three kiddos in one building. Life is good that way.

Hubby and I are settling in very well to being a husband and wife still. I am alsways amazed at how God has moved in his life and how Hubby has opened up to me. I know alot has to do with me not pushing him and being more of a positive person. (Despite my health attitude.) I love Hubby more and more each and every day. He has become my positive force and he is wonderful at it.

I am off to pick up a few more supplies for the kiddos and I for school and then I will come home and take a nap. Life is good no matter how I feel or the day is going.

I am alive, with no answers yet. I have had more blood work and three more MRIs. The magentic coffin is a cool thing, just not on stormy nights. I am feeling better and slowly getting back on my feet. I am worn out from just being and want to clean, do laundry and cook without wanting to pass out or get dizzy just by walking around the house.

I have made a desicion in my life. I am going back to work, staying in school full time and preparing myself for another deployment next fall. I need to do something for me that brings money in while Hubby is deployed and school is do able online. We shall see how it goes. I am unsure if I even want to think about next fall, but it is the big elephant in the room and I am tired of it being there. Nothing can be done really to change that fact, just live in this day and not the future.

MRI this week and a foolow up with the nero in two weeks unless something is very wrong on the MRI. I kinda hope something is wrong on the MrI so I can be fixed and out of this pain.

Homecoming came and went. It was wonderful. Flight was delayed but the Kiddos were well behaved and excited to finally have Daddy home. I was not feeling to hot because of whatever is wrong but still ran to greet him. Kiddos got the first hug still. LOL I have alot to write but do not know how to say it. A bag of mixed up emotions and worries. Maybe one day i will write it down but it scares me to think about it right now.

A phone call from stateside means it is really only a fw hours from being over. I already feel the weight lifting off my chest and shoulders.