Life has been crazy the last few months. The van was in the shop, spent a weekend with some wonderful ladies and had a couple of birthdays thrown in and add the holidays to that mix and I was nuts. A little more than usual. I need to write again so here I am. Writing and spilling my guts out there for the world to read. A few rules will go with my renewed sense of writing; 1. No hating, on anything; i.e. grammar, spelling how I how things. I write what is MY life right now so I can see it for what I see it. 2. Do NOT discount me or my thoughts because I do NOT put it all out there for the world to see. 3. Love life. It is that simple.

So, back to my wonderful, crazy life. It has been some of the most wonderful and horrible times rolled up into one. Losing Mom has been the worst thing ever, but in some ways one of the greatest moments of my life. I love her with all of my heart and learned so much from her. I know in the future I will be able to understand some of the things she was trying to teach me till the end. SO I will always have her and that is why I can say that losing my Mom is one of the greatest things. Plus she made heaven her home and I will get to see her again one day.

Sweetness is growing into such a wonderful young lady. She had her first JROTC Military Ball this past weekend, is amazing at all she does and has a heart of pure goodness and joy. The boys are the boys. Big Man is still searching for a job but helping my Dad out greatly. We are talking more and wounds are healing. The younger three, well, let's just say that they are like their father. Finding the good in all and everyone. They bless me with smiles and laughter when I do not feel it and remind life is not a hard, complicated thing to live, we make it that way.

Now to the real reason I am blogging again. I have started on a journey to lose weight. And I want to write it down and share it with the world. I have been trying to lose weight for years. And it worked against me to exercise like I wanted and needed to. The times I spent in wheelchairs and on canes was depressing. I need to lose weight to decrease the risk of certain diseases and to be around for my kiddos and future grand-kids. My blood pressure has been on the rise, I am vitiam deficient and  just do not like the way I look. So, I went to my PCM (primary care doctor) and asked for a referral for bariatic surgery. Yep, surgery is going to be a main tool for me to lose weight.

I have done diet programs, exercises and followed doctor's orders to the t. Even tried a few over the counter herbal things, all for nothing but a few pounds in four or five months. And I mean like 3 or 4 pounds in four or five months. It is very heartbreaking to feel better and know you are doing good but the weight stays on. And if you do the work outs you love you have a good chance of not walking or being able to care for your family.

And let me say the process has been easy. Tricare has pulled through for me each and every time without question. The doctors I chose my my surgery are awesome and very supportive. I have to see a cardiologist for a heart mummer that is non existent now, and have a sleep test before they can clear me for surgery. I do those things this month. I started after my girls weekend in Florida, back in January.

The diet changes have started, the many pills a day to rectify the vitiam deficiency are started and the high blood pressure meds are started. All with joy and not forgetting to take them because I need to change my body so I can go out and do the things I need to and not worry about my health.

The life change is going to be large and has begun. I am cutting out some of my favorite foods, and have done away with almost all the sweet drinks from my diet, even diet ones. And do not miss them. I have done this before and just like before with the added exercise I am still not losing but I am feeling better. Now it is time to get my outside appearance to look like my inside appearance.