Will the fear ever go away? WIll I ever get used to it? I hope it oes, and I hope I don't. Whenever we lose a guy, I know before I hear about it. Only because I do not hear from Hubby when I usually do. So far I am two for two. In a week. I know it is nothing for some but for me, it is to much. I wonder if we will keep losing them and when it will stop if it will stop.

Whenever I do not hear from Hubby I always come home a little bt slower jump when I hear the doorbell ring, and say a prayer of thanks that no one in Class As and a white car or truck pulled up in front of my house that day. Will my spirit hang in there and let GOd do His work, will I allow it, am I strong enough? All f these always run through me day in and day out. Yesterday I cried a few times because two very sweet women hugged me and told me it was ok. I do not have to be the end all for anyone. That is my God's job and I need to leave it alone.