Monday, July 16, 2007

I sit here trying to get laundry done and the Kiddos to finish their chores. We are supposed to be heading out in a few days for a visit with my mom. We are driving and meeting her half way. I am so excited to see her. I last saw my mom in March before Hubby left. I refuse to drive that far again for anyone without stopping. (Hubby made that call) AS we are going through the day the Kiddos do not want to finish what they need to.If they weren't going back with her and I needing the break I would lock them all up and go play a game of pool somewhere. It seems I have had to jump in butts more often than not to get the simple things done.

If anyone was a cop or social worker walking by this afternoon and heard me hollering at the Kiddos I am sure I would be in jail by now or my Kiddos in "custody" of CPS. I lost it. I wanted to yell and holler. I wanted to hit something so I kicked a chair. I wanted to cuss but kept my mouth shut. That was a hard one.

For some reason this deployment has tested my last little nerve. I have nothing to give anyone and everybody wants something. The poor Kiddos were running today and hiding from me. I really was a tyrant today. I have been telling certain things had to be done and some were accomplished but destroyed in a matter of a couple of days. Oh well. They are all almost done now. Tomorrow we finish laundry and pack in the evening. Wed the 3 younger boys will head over to a friend's and be pampered all day by her. The two older Kiddos and I will head to Wally World to have new tires put on the truck and an oil change. While that is being done last minute food snacks and trip toys will be purchased. I would have bought the food but the Kiddos would have had it all gone by now. I can not keep food in the house with them. We have already gone through half a bushel of peaches and 3 pounds of tomatoes. Not to mention the cheese sticks.....anyway what was I talking about?? Oh yeah.. the Kiddos.

They are doing better now and so am I. I have learned in the last few years I do not have to do everything and not everything has to be done. But it would be nice to actually keep a nice half clean house for more than 5 minutes. I do have my trash out areas that just hold things and that will be cleaned out next week while little people are sleeping. It happens once a month. But the rest like bathrooms and other common areas in our home should be maintained by us all.

I have been tossing around ideas to blog. I have had alot on my mind and want to express it. The only problem with that is I would have to sit down and organize my thoughts and as of now I just type when I blog. It is a whole new area for me. I keep telling myself it will be good practice for when I start school next month. That is a whole other subject. I am scared and worried but so very excited. Anyway I am off to love on the Kiddos and tell them Mommy is not crazy and finish making dinner for them.


Claire said...

I am sorry you had such a tough time. I know that getting kids to move and get it done can be more frustrating than bathing a neurotic cat. By the way... I am a social worker, and if I walked by and heard you screaming I would come in and tell your kids that I was taking you into my custody until they did what you told them to do! haha! I would tell them I was from the Mother Protective Services.

I would never think someone was a bad mom because she is frustrated and under a ton of stress. I always hate it when I lose my cool too, but it happens. It sucks, but we all have our boiling points. I hope you have a nice time with your mom.

What are you going to study when you go back to school? I went back after my boys were born... they were 3, 6 and 9 when I started.

nationalguardwife said...

Please come and get me. :) For some reason I am having a hard time this deployment. We did get everythign done but that was after the kicking chairs and screaming.

I am going to get a BA in Sociologly (sp?) and then going on to LAw school at Baylor if my LSATs are high enough. My Kiddos are now 16, 10, 6, 3 and 2.

Claire said...

Oh WOW! You are super woman! I didn't realize your kids had such a span in age. We have a lot in common! Mine range in ages from 22 to 3! I have four total. Two are on their own (of course my oldest son is in the Army and deployed right now) and my 19 year old lives in his own apartment and is attending college. It is just my 16 year old and my 3 year old pirate at home now.

I have a master's in social work, and the year I graduated from USC (Columbia) was the same year they started offering a dual degree program for the MSW and JD degrees! It would have only taken me an extra 3 semesters to finish, but I had joined the program before I could make all of my classes align properly for the program. I really thought about going back for my JD for a long time. I hate the practice end of social work... it is very frustrating. I have worked in research mostly.

Good luck in your school adventures. You are going to do wonderfully well! I swear to you that the moms who I went to school with were all awesome students. You will have a practical wisdom to offer in the class room that will blow the little snot nosed punks away! They've got nothing on moms like us!

nationalguardwife said...

I am going to hold you to that one. :) I know I will do well. It is the fear of the unkwon now that is kicking my butt. A friend who is going to Baylor now and is single told me basically the sme thing. Plus I will have a desire to do better than anyone. I agree and it feels good to hear it from other people.