I went walking/jogging this morning. It felt good to be active again and feel the sweat falling down my forhead andmy heart pounding in my chest. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! I did enjoy the quiet this morning and the stretches I did afterward. But during I thought I was going to die. I have lost alot of what I gained in cardio improvement with this move. I am also changing my workout program. I will be walking/jogging 6 days a week and doing Pilitates days a week at the gym. The post gyms are great but do not offer the classes I want in the time I can get there. Plus the child care is very limited. So I am kinda screwed there. Oh well.

Emtionally I am kinda torn between being excited to live in a house that is safe and well built, then I know we have this place because my wonderful Hubby said he would do anything to give us a better life. That anything includes going to war again and it is soon. I want him to leave like right now so we can just get it over with. At times I think I am wrong for feeling this way then I think no, I always think like this before Hubby leaves. Right now everything is up in the air and I am not liking it at all. I can't stand the uncertainity and the unknowns. I should get used to it but I won't right now.

To many balls in the air is the result of uncertainity and not being able to make plans. The only plans I have made for this summer is a trip to DC for three days and to take my Kiddos to my aunt in July so Hubby and I can have a few days alone. He will be working but I can meet him for lunch and we can have dates without the worry of Kiddos. We don't need alot to make us happy, just a few days alone. I hope it works this time because we have never had alone time for more than 24 hours before he has deployed. I need it and we as a couple need it. We shall se what will happen.

I am off to do more laundry. Only two loads today. Last week I did on average 5 loads a day. Just to put away clean clothes after the move. It was hard but I accomplished it with alot of hard work and muttering under my breath.