The hair dye worked, kinda. I look a little older, not so much like a clown now, but someone who knows what they want in life. There is one problem with that. I am not so sure what I want in life. Well at least my professional one. I know what I want for myself personally, just not professionally. I have been thinking of finishing up my AA and going to work as a federal parole officer or work for the fed government somehow, somewhere and any way possible. Hubby has dreams and has made the steps to get his dream and he is all excited about it. As for me, I am lost still. LOL I have been researching different jobs and love what I see in so many. I could be a parole officer, bailiff, border patrol, just about anything that involves carring a weapon legally and getting paid to help people get back on their feet the right way. The money is not a major concern to me right now because I have waited so long to decided and achieve my dream, I want to make sure I will get something that I would do for free.

Don't get me wrong, a job with awesome pay and benefits will not be turned down, it is just not at the list as being important for the job. At the top of the list is helping people and protecting our rights that my husband and many other brave men and women have fought and died for. Not to much to ask is it?? Anyway, I will think more on this and may one day come to a conclusion on what I want to be when I grow up.

As I sit here with brown hair dye on my head I am wondering will it be enough to push me that extra mile to finish this deployment? I am tired, very tired. Hubby keeps telling me I am doing a great job and he will be here sooner than I know and I will no longer be alone. Ummm, all I think is yeah, but I still have to make it through the next weeks or months before I see your smile and wonderful blue eyes again. I do not know if I have the mental strength to do the last sprint til homecoming.

I became exhuasted a lot sooner than normal, but the small things of life have added up to a few giant things of life. All the Kiddos are fine, went from fighting with a school to working together and everyone wanting a piece of me has kinda drained the reserves I usually have for the final sprint to homecoming. It is turning out to be a shorter deployment than others but life happens and it picked this deployment to rear its ugly head big time.

The Kiddos have stepped up and helped me tremendously and shown me how wonderful they truely are and make me so proud. Sweetness had surgery and now faces root canals. Big Man was diagonised with ADD after 17 years of life, 13 years of fighting and saying he is bright and so very smart but something was not clicking and I had no clue what it was. Buddy Lee, Big Man 2, and the Baby are growing up and loving life. They all make me small and proud of how far they have come in such a short time. They truely are a gift from God. (Just don't tell them I said so, I will deny it)

It is almost time to rinse my hair. Let's see if it looks good and if it makes me feel all grown up and ready to face the next hurdle.