So I am caught between a rock and a flipping hard place. I finished school and needed a breather of one day of not talking to anyone, doing anything for anyone and just being quiet and alone. Not to much to ask right? Well, I wanted to fold laundry with no help today, really it is just one load, and probably a little to harsh, told my mom not to help me. I appreciate her help like no one else, but just needed to do this on my own today. Because I can. Well, she thought I was upset with her and cranky. Why can't I just be quiet and alone twice a year?
Hubby is trying to help and be the support for everyone. But he can't be everything for everybody. I miss our times together. The only person we both need to worry about is each other. My mom is a great woman and a great inspiration to me and everyone around her. I know I agreed to take care of her and be there for her, but the strain gets to be rough some days. I have been working out again and now I am seeing someone for counseling to make sure my head stays on straight.
I know this may sound selfish and all but really I need an outlet and this is it. It will also pass and will be a distant memory. But in the mean time, as I deal with my mom and her cancer I will cry, scream, and love more than ever.