Monday, May 10, 2010

So I am caught between a rock and a flipping hard place. I finished school and needed a breather of one day of not talking to anyone, doing anything for anyone and just being quiet and alone. Not to much to ask right? Well, I wanted to fold laundry with no help today, really it is just one load, and probably a little to harsh, told my mom not to help me. I appreciate her help like no one else, but just needed to do this on my own today. Because I can. Well, she thought I was upset with her and cranky. Why can't I just be quiet and alone twice a year?

Hubby is trying to help and be the support for everyone. But he can't be everything for everybody. I miss our times together. The only person we both need to worry about is each other. My mom is a great woman and a great inspiration to me and everyone around her. I know I agreed to take care of her and be there for her, but the strain gets to be rough some days. I have been working out again and now I am seeing someone for counseling to make sure my head stays on straight.

I know this may sound selfish and all but really I need an outlet and this is it. It will also pass and will be a distant memory. But in the mean time, as I deal with my mom and her cancer I will cry, scream, and love more than ever.

1 comment:

Andria said...

Hi. I'm a lurker here, but today I could lurk no longer. I just wanted to say that I don't think it's selfish that you wanted some quiet time to yourself. Before my husband came home from his deployment, I told him that I wanted a weekend away from the kids and everything else. A couple of weeks ago, I checked myself into a hotel and I had an entire night and day to myself. It was so rejuvenating. I went back to work on Monday feeling rested and ready to take on the world.

Take some time for yourself. That's the only way you can make it through everything else sometimes.