Thursday, March 16, 2006

Ok So I want to tell everyone who thinks they are helping by saying "I do not know how you did it". BITE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You just do things. I don't know how either. Yes Virginia my husband has been gone for over 20 months. And I had a baby who did not meet his Daddy til he was almost 4 months old. Yes it hurt like all get out. Yes it was hard. (I will give you a hint IT WAS FRIGGING HARD!!!!!!) Ok I am fine now I think. I am just so tired of hearing the pity in people's voices and the amazement that both the Hubby and I could still be faithful. To be honest I don't think that was the hard part. The reunion is going to be murder. I am trying to stay positive and upbeat. I am praying and hoping for the best. I have heard horror stories of the best marriages having a really hard time after the deployment. The one left behind is so used to doing it all that it is easy to forget that the returning soldier needs to be included on something. And the returning soldier is so used to a uniform type living. And I mean working constantly and eating sleeping at specific times dailey. They forget that the "World" is not like that. Especially for those of us with kiddos. I know my Hubby has to sleep with music on. Fine I can handle that. He also likes pitch black to sleep. That will probaly be our first fight. I leave a light on so the Bully can come to my room at night when he wakes up. Plus I really hate sleeping in the dark with no other adult around. At least I can see where I am going and the kids have a landmark if they need me.

Hubby mentioned last night I believe that no tonly the returning Soldier can suffer from PTSD but also the spouse left behind. I was like "REALLY?" Are they just now figuring this out? Come on. How long do they expect us to listen to the news worry about everything that is now in our capable hands( I hope mine were) and not suffer from some kind of stress? It is harder on others than some. I have to say that if I had a TV and saw the news nightly and every little special bulletin they put up I would have blown a fuse a really long time ago. Then add the "studies" of the divorce rate and such to it and man oh man you have the makings of a very stressed out person. I mean what spouse wants to see the rate of divorce for returning soldiers? I know I don't. I want to see the rate of marriages that WORK. How hard would that be?

Oh well. I am off to bed and hopefully a good night sleep. Maybe I will finish this line of thought after the Hubby gets home. I know in my heart we will be fine. It is getting to the fine part that scares me.

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