I am headed home from my Dad's in about an hour. The Kiddos and I had a blast but it is time for us to head home and back to life. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

If anyone knows of a good place online to buy textbooks please let me know. I am trying not to spend 90+ bucks on one textbook. I know I will for one class, but for all four, ummmmmmm, I do not see that happening. :) I have been to Amzon and half.com and am not finding all I need. Any help will be greeted with a huge hug and smile.

This is what happens when The Baby is bored at the doctor's office. His ear is healed and he is perfect. Of course I already knew that.

A friend and I took our Kiddos to the food court last night fr dinner and so the kiddos could play since it was to cold and to dark for them to be outside. Never mind the fact neither one of us wanted to cook anything close to dinner. Well, her oldest and my two oldest were in the play area with the little ones and we sat out where it was a little quieter than in the enclosed area. We could see them and they were being normal boys under the age of 6. Loud, loud and loud. One lady walked in to take her kids in and made a loud comment about how no adults were in there with a whole lot of loud kids. Well, ours was not the only one and another lady who did the same thing as we did looked at us and said something about how some women are quick to judge. We were all with in eye sight of the kiddos and needed a break from the noise. Why must some people feel they can spew crap and think everyone cares what their opinions are? I needed for my kiddos to play and not have my eardrums busted open til they were bleeding. Goodness, I am alone, again with them and needed a mental decompression hour. Anyway, they left and the kiddos never hurt anyone, other than themselves, and the kiddos conitued on being boys and I enjoyed my Mocha Latte. If people would just let me relax in my own way and keep comments to themselves I would be an extremely happy camper. LOL

So over the weekend we got almost everything completed on the list and then some. But the laundry is still not done and I am tired of looking at it. I am supposed to be doing homework, it is the last chapter questions for my COurt Systems class. 3 to go and I need a break.
I was talking with a neighbor tonight. Her husband is getting ready to start another deployment and she has the same fears I have not seemed to conqueor. I am having a hard time giving Hubby what he needs and I do not feel as if I have anything to give back to him. I have been giving and giving and not getting much back for awhile. I know what I signed up for but to be honest the whole back and forth thing between deployments has worn me down. We counted the other day how long Hubby has been home in the last four years. It made me cry and brings a tear to my eye whenever I think of it. It was not even 24 months he has been here. He has missed holidays, birthdays and so many other moments we will never get back. He will miss Sweetness' first rectial playing her clairenet. She is good, by the way. And more holidays and birthdays are fast approaching. We are having a small Christmas this year and keeping the tree up til R&R. Whenever that may be.
Thanksgiving will be with my Dad and hhis sister. I am looking forward to a couple of days away from the hustle and bustle of what has turned into my life.

I am off to finish my homework and to get some sleep, maybe. Yeah, that thing called sleep still evades me. It may find me again one day but I am not holding my breath.

To Do List:
Write list
Laundry (hopefully I can conqueor it today)
Clean my bathroom
Clean and dust bedroom
Clean kitchen
Sweep and mop floors
Buy turkey fryer
Write a letter
Check mail
Clean out trucks
Cook dinner
Watch a movie
And maybe more if I feel inclined to. The Kiddos are helping with the To Do List today. They make the most mess and are gone the most. The are not grumbling to much but will get over it anyway. Off I go to clean and wish another day would move just a little bit faster.

At the side I added a button for Project VALOUR-IT. Of course I joined the Army team. Please donate, not just so Army can win but because of all the wonderful Soldiers, Airman, Sailors, and Marines it has and will help out. Let these men and women heal in all the ways they need to. They have given enough. It is time for us to give back.

Veteran's Day is here and I was able to talk to my Vet for a few minutes today. I love that man more than anything in this world. As for rememebering, I do everyday. My grandfather was a POW in Korea and my Dad was in the AF and my HUbby is in a combat zone once again. I rememeber with every breath I take and with every heartbeat. But so many other people say it better, like here, here and here.

Christmas has been saved. My MOMMY is coming for Christmas!!!!!! I am so excited. I love my Mommy so much. This will be a good Christmas even with Hubby in the Sandbox. We will open presents and take lots of pictures for him ut my Mom will be here to help and make it not so lonely for me.

I got my phone, I cried myself to sleep last night. Woke this morning to tell my Kiddos what happened and to remind them we will survivie this like everything else we have been through. Life will go on and we will al learn something from this exprience and it was a wonderful expprience to have my Kiddos watch news with me and ask me questions about our election process. Next election in two years for sentors and reps Big Man will be on his own and old enough to vote then. I am feeling kinda old now.

Baby puked at school, I took a math test and grab Baby then went to the polls. First place was wrong, second place I passed going to wrong place. I was worried I would have to leave because of long lines but was in and out in 10 minutes tops. Not including going to the wrong place.It is done and Baby had his first taste of a right and freedom we have here.

Update: I did not think I was going to watch, read or even think about what the results will be tonight. I am scouring the internet to find whatever info I can. I am becoming addicitated.

I am sitting in the tailgate of Hubby's truck and enjoying the beautiful weather. The Kiddos mowed part of the yard and have behaved pretty well today. I did some homework and took a very short but much needed nap. Tomorrow I have review for a math test on Tues and I need to complete my homework in the online math lab. SO much to do and not enough time. I did laundry all day and still only made it through about half of it. It drives me crazy because it seems like it is never ending.

I lost my phone I think. I have been tearing the house apart looking for it and can't call it because it is turned off or dead. I am so mad at myself for losing it. Not the way I wanted to spend a weekend.

I am still feeling very off and have not found my groove. I keep hearing that it is ok but I am not ok with it. I am not the same this deployment and do not want to do the status quoa just because it is expected of me. I do not know if I have it in me to give and give and give for the next so many months. I am the only one for the Kiddos and I am there all. I am trying to find the balance in taking care of everyone but not doing a good job. I know Hubby has it harder and is missing all the little things, but at the same time, I am missing al the little things about him.

I am scared that one day I will forget the things he does to make me laugh or smile and the joy he brings into my everyday world. I hold my breath all day waiting for the call or knock on the door. I do not like living this way but have not figured out how to live any other way this deployment. Rumors are floating and the mail sucks so that is not helping at all.

One day this will all just be a memory and all will be well. It is the getting through it and knowing we will make it to the other side that is eluding me. One day that fog will lift and I will be fine. For now, I am and that is enough for me.