Sweetness is having a sleepover tonight. The house is directly behind us and Big Man 2 was freaking out wanting his sister. I got him and Bab a stuffed animal from Sweetness' room, not a peep from either one. The boy is crazy. He could not wait to get rid of her earlier and now he wants her back. The boy cracks me up somedays.

Happy 17th Birthday to Big Man. I can not believe this time seventeen years ago when I was just 17 I was holding my first born. At times I wished I had know then what I do now but then I think about how I would have missed out on my eight year old would hold my hand when we walked down the street and still call me Momy. Or when he was a few weeks shy of 17 he would wrap his arm around me and thank me for finding a good church home for us and telling me he loves me. I love him more than I would have thought I could. He makes me proud to be a Mom and to have the privalage of watching and helping him grow into an awesome young man.

It is official. I am admitted to Central Texas College in the Criminal Justice AAS Degree program. Once my finacial aide is accepted I will be able to registar for classes. I have to take 4 to 5 classes a semester and one in the summer to graduate on time. We shall see how that goes.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock is the noise that has been keping me awake at night. It is the closck in my head ticking away the seconds we have left til Hubby takes off on his net vaction in the sandbox. It is still a few weeks away but so much needs to be done and I am trying not to freak over it. I am done hoping they will keep him on Rear D just this one time. I am at the point even though much needs to e done, of he needs to go now and start this vaction so we can end it. I am snappy, mean and wore out. I try so flipping hard to keep my head above water but feel myself sinking into the pit I call self pity.

Every morning I crawl out of bed and make a promise to myself that today will be a good day. I do roll with the punches and fake being content everyday. SOmedays it works somedays not so much. The worry, uneasiness and weariness is setting in early. I am learning new ways to cope and some are not so good to be starting and others rock. I have a hard time taking my own advice.I tell al the ladies who say they can't sleep to do what they need to to get through and not be sleep deprieved. I am scared of pills and the after effects.

Hubby is great about the whole thing and talks to me and tells me his job will not be as bad as we thought it would be. We both know to a degree he is lying. I just don't like not knowing when he is safe or not safe all the time. Hubby told me that he never knows when he is safe and not safe. He just rolls with the punches and will deal with it if something comes up. I know he rocks at his job and he is trained to be the best he can be.

In the grand scheme of life I will make it and pull the big girl undies on and embrace the suck. I will be alright and I will smile for real again. One day this will be a distant memory that I will chose to forget. Each day I will love my Hubby and Kiddos and know that we will all be good and come out the other side bigger and better people.

This is after shots. All happy and covered in stickers. They were quite happy and content. Then Baby jumped and busted his head open. He was hapy and even slept through most of the sticthing. He has a total of six stiches and is fine. We got there a little after none and arrived home closr to 4 am. Hubby rushed us over and then came back home to make sure the rest of the other Kiddos were fine and ready for bed. Plus he needed sleep since he had to be at work at 6 am and is at the range all day. I think he got aout 4 hours of sleep for today. I think we will see him for about 5 minutes after he showers.

To Do List for the Week:
1. Write List
2.Laundry
3.Go to gym three two times this week
4. Take Kiddos to doctor appointment for physicals and the dreaded update on shots This was two and a half hours of my life I will never get back. Why do they think slow is good or we do not have to be anywhere for the rest of the day?
5.Grocery shop
6. Go into Temple to visit Sam's Club
7.Cook dinner everynight this week
8.Go to Weigh2Live Class twice this week.(it is a month long class twice a week)
9.Laundry
10.Run/Walk twiceonce this week (the dr appointment is at an ungodly hour in the morning it will take me 30 minutes just to rouse the Kiddos out of bed)
11. Registar for classes this fall
12.Start accumlating stuff for care packages
13. Love on my Hubby even more the next few weeks (work in progress)

This week is going to be just as crazy as every other week in my life. We shall see if I will lose my mind.

Update: Laundry is still waiting to be done and only one nap was taken. I have slept worth crap this week and I am feelin blah. No other way to say it. House cleaning will be done tomorrow as a family. I did cook 4 times this week and Monday I go back to eating realy healthy and wise. I miss the good feeling I was having making right choices. The ease and cost effecient choices are not always healthy but that will change.



Things to Do this week
1.Write List.
2.Laundry
3.Take out rocks in flower bed
4. Take out posionous bush in fornt yard.
5.Laundry
6.Register Kiddos at CYS
7.Make dinner at least 4 times this week
8.Rearrange the bushes in flowerbedNot going to do this yet. I am waiting til next spring and then will decide what I want in there.
9.Sweep and mop floors
10. Laundry
11.Nap at least 3 times this week
12. Blog about my trip to DC and post pictures

I think that is a good satrt. We got my mom to the airport in good time last night and now have life back to us. I love having company and family in but I was getting tired and wanting to be in my home with just my Hubby and Kiddos. Anyway I am off to work on my list and see if I can accomplish anything without hurting myself or the Kiddos.

It was a wonderful 4th of July here. I think I am the only person in the world who cries at fireworks shows. One year it was when Hubby was gone to Afghan and this year because I was thinking of all of our friends who never made it home to see another 4th of July. They died fighting so me and my own could be free and celebrate what it means to be a free nation.

My Mom is still here and the Kiddos are soaking up the loving she is giving out. Big Man loved camp and our extra teenager is gone back home for the summer. I have some pictures and thoughts to put down. Just have to wait to get my life back later this week.