We are getting closer to Hubby coming home. We actually have a day he is SUPPOSED to be leaving the Stan. I will believe it when he calls me from the states. I am so excited to be done. I am also not having as many fears about becoming a couple once again. I have made some really good friends since moving here to WAco and they are totally supportive in helping to give Hubby and i time alone and helping out with the Kiddos.

The Kiddos are ready to have a Dad again. All of them are asking when does Dad get home? It is good to see them laugh more as we come to an end with htis deployment.

I am of to finish getting ready for church. I get dogged out if I am late for anything. It is all in good fun and if they did not say anything then I would think they did not love me. LOL It is great to have friends who will make you laugh at yourself and tease you like you are part of their family. Because in reality they have become my family. I am so thankful GOd has sent me here and put me in this church.

We are creeping closer to the day Hubby begins his long awaited trip home. I am so excited. We were chatting today about him coming home after been gone for so long and agreed on something to do. And that was just love each other and act like newlyweds. I am really looking forward to that. I really miss having a Man to cook for. Yeah it is nice to cook for the kids and family and friends but to have MY MAN eating what I fixed for him is a whole other thing.

Tomorrow at school Sweetnes and Buddy Lee have Soldier Day I guess you can call it. It is where the Soldiers from a close base come in and thank all the kids for their letters and suppsquaredeetness asked me to be there for her. I am thinking she will not be able to handle it to well. She is so missing her Daddy. Buddy Lee will be fine I think as long as he does not see his sister freak out. Who knows what will happen. I am praying all will be well and I jsut get to spend sometime with the kids at school and learn a little more about what goes on out there. Buddy Lee has been close to breaking down. He sees his good friend PK3 (Preacher's Kid #3) playing with his Dad a lot and that is when he is sad. He does ok til he sees them together. Even though Pastor does play with him too the same way his Daddy would. It is just not the same for him. I can so relate to that. Big Man brought home his report card today. It was not not that bad. He did a lot better than I thought he would. He is pulling As where I did not think he would and Ds and Fs where I thought he would. That is ok. He is getting settled in and learning the ropes out there in a real Jr High. I am proud of the way he has stepped up and made that choice to enjoy his new school and hometown.

I am beginning to lose sleep again thinking of all the things I should be doing getting ready for Hubby to come home. I do not want to start to early but I want to make sure things are done. I hear everyone saying that Hubby will not care what the house looks like just that he is home. I know my Hubby better than that. I am also wanting to show him my love and all for him by keeping a clean house and keeping my home in order. It is kinda hard to describe but that is the best way that I can think of. I jsut want him to know I have done all of this to contribute to us having a better more productive life together. Man this has been along time coming. I am glad we will still have that chance to make things work and to really give it a shot this time. I can already tell difference's how I look at him and how I speak with him. It could also be my imagination playing tricks on me but who knows.

I am off to bed. It is after midnight here and I am slowing down. I am not even sure if I am spelling words correctly. Thank God for spellcheck. :)

Ok so in less than two weeks if we are lucky the Hubby will be leaving the Stan. I am so excited but at the same time I am scared senseless what life will be like as a wife and mom again. We have had issues as a couple but this last 20 months has taught me that I can do what I never thought I could. I have moved across country and I gave birth to my fifth child alone. Yes I did have family and friends but when you get right down to the heart of it I was all alone while my husband was off fighting a war. Well we made it through the worst and the best and we have come out of this a lot stronger and very different than when we went into this.

Hubby and I have been spending a lot of time chatting about what we are going to do as a couple and family when he gets home. I am glad we are laying out some groundwork now so we may avoid some major disagreements in the very near future. Man I thought I would never say that. It feels good to know that the love of my life will be here very soon.

Hubby will be here with the Kiddos and I in about 6 weeks if all goes well. He has to demob and do that Army thing then fly down to Vegas to pick up his car. While there he is seeing his family and my folks. His sister has had a rough few months and he wants to see for himself that she is well. I figure he can have a day with her but then his butt better be on his way here to us. I really don't think anyone knows what the family goes through while their soldier is deployed. That is unless you are a family who depends on that Soldier for dailey needs and contact. Yes it is hard on the extended family but when it comes right down to it it is the spouse and kiddos who suffer the most. The spouse has to learn how to be mom and dad, comforter and bad guy and do al household chores no matter what. I never had a sick day. I think the only time I had alone was when I was in the hospital with pre term labor. Other than that I had at least one kiddo with me. I love my kiddos but the always on can really drive a person insane.

I have been called selfish and many things because I do not want any contact with the outside world the first few weeks MY (yes in caps) HUBBY is home. In the last 20 months we have almost lost our marriage and each other in many different ways. I deserve to get to know the new Hubby as he deserves to get to know the new me. I have changed so much. I hope he will love the new me. I am more vocal about what I need and I will go to bat for anone who needs me. And do not try to walk over me. I am bigger than you in my spirit and I will prove it if I have to.

I am off for now to get the Kiddos ready for bed. 6 am comes really early for them and me.

Ok so my internet went down while I was chatting with Jerry. Trying to deal with the fact that he is not coming home when they said. it is only a couple of day delay but not when they said. And I could not get back to him. So I go out to the truck load up Jacob and Scooby and get the rest of what we need to run errands and have a fun time. WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLll the truck did not start. ARGH!!!!!!!! I tried to jump it nothing happens. SO I take it out and haul it down to the parts store with my neighbor who is trying to make me laugh and relax. (Did not work.) They test it and it is deader than a nail. So he tells me what I can get and of course I need the most expensive one because I have a large truck and do not want to take the chance of being stranded somewhere. So I get it and while I am waitng to pay some flipping jerk walks up with a creepy smile and says "Hay beautiful. You working on a car? Mine could use some help." GROSSED me out. I tried to ignore him but put up my hand with the wedding ring and said yeah I am working on my truck. And no I wil not go near your car. Anyway back on track. I get home install the new battery and guess what!!! It did not turn over. Never mind that I still had errands to run and groceries to buy. SO my neighbor tells me to g sit order a pizza for us and when she gets back she will take me to the store at least so I can have food when the cold front moves in. Well something makes me go try the truck ONE more time. It STARTS!!!!! I can go do what I need to. Oh WAIT!! I can't, the Cable Guy is coming. Since I still had no internet. Well the kids get home and are hungry and i have no snack food because I could not make it to the store. They scavanged and made do with what they could find. Cable Guy shows up and unhooks everything(like I did 5 time today) puts each and every line into a tester he has plugs it back in and guess what IT WORKED!!!!! He said it was on the whole time. NO it wasn't I said because it was not allowing me online and yadda yadda yadda. Anyway the whole day revolved around things being broken and then all the sudden not broken.

Well that was Wensday. Yesterday I went to the store and picke up some flowers for a wedding and then to the grocery store. I got into the truck had everything loaded and the truck did not start. So I was towed home by a know it all driver and had it dropped off at home. I called around and found someone to come pick it up and take it to a good mechanic. It is not going to cost me near as much as I thought to get it fixed. And the best part is that I will have it back today. I am so happy.

What a day. Lets just say that what could break that I needed did and what I wanted to fix did on it's own time. The battery had to be replaced today after a creepy guy hit on me. The cable went out WHILE I was talking to Hubby and the Cable Guy had the nerve to tell me it was never out. Anyway all is good now. All the kiddos are sleeping and I am off to bed. Night all.

Well the unit isn't coming back when they said. It is being put off by a couple of days. You say what is a couple of days? It is an entirety after almost 21 months of deployment. This is really sucky. (Is that even a word?) Anyway I am dealing with that and the fact my kiddos are coming to the end of their ropes. As am I. Sweets had two breakdowns in 12 hours. They were huge. She cried for about half and hour with each one. I figured that it might have something to do with the fact that she is now in a school where most of the kids have two parent households and she hears about what dads are doing with kids in her class. Of course I could be wrong and she just needed to let the flood gates open.

I still hate being around couples. You would think I would be used to it by now. Guess what??!! I am not. I am so tired of looking at people talking, laughing, holding hands and yes even fighting with each other. I want that back. I do not want to have to share the Hubby with anyone. But I will because every one wants a piece of him. Plus if I don't then I am selfish and do not play well with others. OH WELL!!!! You put the love of your life on a plane for 20+ month's and tell me how you would feel who time came close for him to be home and you are closer to where they were supposed to be but they changed it to be across the flipping country. Ok I feel better now that I have gotten that out.

Hubby and I have been talking a lot about being a couple again and a family again. I am praying for a smooth transition. It will take a few month's if not a year before we can be completely comfy with each other again. I hope we handle the changes in each of us well. I hope he will still love the new improved loud mouthed me. I am not that loud mouthed but can be when the need arises.

Church is great. The Kiddos love it. The Pastor and his wife have accepted us as family already. We kick it with them and we all know we can count on each other.

I am off to bed and some shut eye. I am exhausted but glad to be this tired. I am not stressed but just worn out from having a good busy day. I tried for the nap today but that did not happen.

We now have less than 20 days if we are lucky before Hubby starts his way home to us. He will be delayed after being dismissed to see his family back West. It does not feel right for me to say back home. Since we have arrived in Texas it has felt more like home. It is hard to explain why but it is.
The reason Hubby is stopping to see family is that his Sister has MS and is recovering from a bad set back and Hubby wants to see her for himself. He is also stopping to see his Mom and Dad. He is spending a day with each one. And then he is all ours. Not everyone understands that we need time alone to get to know each and for the Kiddos to learn their Dad again.
Hubby and I have talked a lot about what is expected from each other when he gets home. I can't really expect anything from him until he settles into the World again. He has been military for so long that he will need some readjusting. I have been on my own for so long it will take awhile before I feel comfortable with another adult in the house.
Church is great. The kids love it and I am happy there. The Pastor and his family have adopted us right off. It is still hard to go from a huge church to a pioneer work. We are still busy but not so busy that I feel my head spinning.
I am off to hit the Wally World for more groceries.

I had to answer how a deployment has changed me and this was my response.


I have been thinking on this for a couple of days. One of the things that stands out is that I learned I can not do everything everyone wants me to do. I have to live my life and serve GOd the way I see fit and how I know it is supposed to be done. I have stood up more times than not to speak my mind when I see fit and I have also learned the value of choosing my battles.
I have also learned not all things are impossible. Giving birth alone is not something I recommend to anyone. I can take the truck in and have it worked on without being robbed to much. :) I can also move across country to start a new home for our new beginning with everyone saying it could not be done. (No one on here though)
I do not wish a four and a half month school on top of a deployment to anyone. For me it was right on time. In the last 20 1/2 monthes I have grown alot but also learned never to take for granted the chance to say I love you or thank you to the most important people in our lives. Time is to short to say I will do this later. Later may never come or we will get to busy to remeber to do it.

I hope this makes sense to anyone reading this. But it is how I think it has changed me. And if I havenot told you today..I LOVE YOU!!!!

The sleeping boy.

Well we are getting settled in. Today is the second day of school for the Kiddos. Big Man is liking this school as well as his old one. The only thing he misses he said is being able to pick his own projects. Sweetness is doingok. She did not say to much about it. She does like her teacher. Buddy Lee was worn out. The all day thing is going to kick his butt. He rides the bus with the big kiddos and loves it. He does come home about 20 minutes before the other two because he gets out 30 minutes earlier. So so far it is a sucess on the school front.

I did my first Walk Away the Pounds today. It was the Walk Kick one. It kicked my butt. I feel good though. Hopefully it will help my but and stomache area tone down. I think next week I will get a scale to track my weight los. I have only guessed at how much I have lost so far. I just know that I am down from an 166/18 size to anything between 8 and 12. It depends on the cut and their sizing guide. Even my feet have gotten smaller. They went down a half size. WOOOHOOO!!!!!!!!

I am off to take care of the Baby. He has a horrible cold and is extremly fussy. I wander if Iw ill get anything done today besides cuddle with him and the Bulley.

Well we are getting settled in. The kids are setting up their rooms and I am slowly finding things we need for day to day life. I have to find an adapter to change the dryer plug from 3 prong to 4 prong. It is a pain in the butt right now. I will find it tomorrow after I get the kids enrolled in school. I am really excited for them to be in this school district. Buddy Lee will be in Kindergarten ALLDAY!!!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!! He also gets to ride the bus to school. That alone was worth seeing his face. I wonder how long it will last that he has to ride the bus.

I ordered my new couches today. They are the green I want and can't wait to have them in our home.They are oh so comfy.

I am exhuasted but in a good place. I have been smiling more and the acid reflux has calmed down alot. I had coffee the other day and it did not hurt as bad.

I am off to fill out the book to enroll the kiddos in school. I can't believe all they want to know about each kid.